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Relationships

Your relationship with yourself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Absolute Bliss,

A Woman's Guide to Relationship Happiness

This 295 page book was published in Canada, and a revised version of it in e-book format is available here at Pentad!

Happiness, integrity, boundaries, personal growth, adult love, intimacy, and more. A very real process and the usual pitfalls that you won't find described like this anywhere else. Pentad articulates the process of changing your life and love relation. It shares the secrets of the bumpy patches where most people feel they fail while working on their relationship. It prepares couples for their future no matter how long they've been together.

Take a look,          Absolute Bliss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is easy for most of us to get caught up in focusing on our relationships. We want our love lives and relationships to be happy, and we want our marriages to succeed. One thing most people can agree on, is that it isn't always easy. It is beneficial to give yourself a little understanding and a little compassion, and focus some of those thoughts back to your own happiness. In other words, your personal relationship with yourself. Why? Well, because you certainly deserve it. Never forget that you always deserve the best.

Have you heard of love-hate relationships? Sure you have! I know that a number of people also have this type of relationship with themselves, although in these cases, I would not call it love-hate. A more appropriate term would be, 'acceptance and non-acceptance'. Somewhere in the grey zone, yet not at any extremes. Furthermore, certainly not in every single area of life.

In areas where we don't quite accept ourselves, we tend to go, 'every which way, but loose'. OK. Some do even that. We run around busy, try to succeed, compete, and achieve those goals. Some of them are small, and some large. Depending on what is going on in life at any given point in time, people can feel that they;

  • Lag behind themselves

  • Are beside themselves

  • Attempt to getting ahead of themselves

  • Not quite here

  • Running circles around themselves/chasing their own behind

We have all sorts of descriptive words for these conditions, correct? Furthermore, there is a quality of duality in the underlying implications.

Have you ever stopped up, and realized how these conditions really feel? I mean, physically? Have you ever rested, called yourself 'home', and felt the physical experience of returning to yourself? No? Try it sometime. It can be exhilarating, a relief, and an energy booster.

I know I keep trying to get the message of 'here and now' across in a variety of ways. This is because if you don't begin right where you are, and you run too quickly, the end result is that you will someday have to return, and do some fundamental work all over again. At some point, stagnation and frustration may once again appear. Important things are skipped, and overlooked.

We do not develop further than we are prepared to go. There will always be personal issues that hold us back, and cause us to resist even potential positive change. They affect everything from career choices, to finances, to personal relationships, just to name a few.

I've been writing about coordinating the past and future back into the present. With that, it's sensible to take an inner look at the ways in which we show ourselves non-acceptance, and it is a very personal work.

In developing a relationship to oneself; the concepts of compassion, empathy, and acceptance are fundamental. Developing a healthy relationship to 'self', and preparing to stroll from where you are right now, is some of the most important work you can ever do for everything you wish for your future.

It is important that adults teach, remember, or re-teach themselves these aspects. The development of this relationship is vital. It is even more imperative that we teach this to children, through living example.

I know a wonderful lady that works as a socialworker and therapist at a hospits on the U.S. Westcoast. She once wrote a poem about relationship to 'self', expressing a curiosity as to how people treat themselves. It provides deep and touching reflections. After receiving permission from her to relay this poem, I've sent it around the country, and overseas. Her name is Krystal Ashling, and here is her poem.

If I were to Love Me

If I were to Love me
How would it be
Would I play and be merry
Would I set myself free?

Would I help me to heal
From my bruises and pain
Would I hear my heart stories
And then hear them again

Would I offer a blanket
When chilled from the storm
Would I always have refuge
Cozy and warm

Would I tell family stories
Like the ones mama shared
Would I be kind and caring
Would I always be there

Would I shout out a bravo
For the triumphs I've won
Would I laugh at my jokes
Even though they are worn

Would I tell me the truth
When I needed to hear
Would I be there with caring
When I voiced my worst fears

When I felt myself lonely
Would I be my best friend
Would my love for myself
Have no start and no end

Would my life be a statement
Of the best
I could be
If I were to love me

Krystal Ashling 2006

So, how's your relationship coming along?

My book, Absolute Bliss, is a book especially for women. I took special care to focus the book around you as a woman. Your personal happiness and well-being are essential to the well-being of your relationships. It is troubling to see women put everyone else first, and lose themselves and their happiness in the process. This life is supposed to be a fantastic adventure, and journey!

Food for thought until next time.

Be well, Stay safe, and warm regards,

Tamera Daun

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opening image; http://www.starbase1.co.uk